Discussion of poem, "Liberation", from "Open Your Eyes"
An uninhibited spirit
floating down uninhibited paths
untouched and uninterrupted
and altogether incomplete,
like an unfinished castle.
He waits in the wind,
foundations compressed and strong,
yet not enough for the burden
crunching under the weight of ill-placed stones.
posted by Jumoke @ 1:38 PM
6 Comments:
Hi Jumoke, Gary and fellow readers!
I love this sort of thing! The first thing I do, generally, when reading a poem is ask questions. Then I tend to cut it apart and put it back together in a way that makes sense to me. Now, I know that isn't really fair to the poet, but it helps me learn...
Anyway, it's good writing and the imaging is brilliant. Here are my thoughts:
In reading this poem, my immediate questions were:
1) What makes the paths uninhibited?
2) Is the first sentence intentionally incomplete? If so, Why?
3)Why the use of the word "enough" in line 8?
Perhaps I'm making this piece more complex than it was meant to be, but I can't help thinking that there is more said here than appears.
I began to think that the reason the spirit is floating is BECAUSE it's uninihibited. But, I also find that that is the reason that it's grounded, like a castle, on firm foundations. Otherwise, waiting in the wind would be impossible as this spirit would be flounced about at the winds whim. If this is the case, then you seem to assert that inhibitions not only weigh us down, but they also cause us to be unstable. (Am I completely destroying your original intention here? I hope not!)
My questions begin again in lines 7 and 8. Are the foundations not strong "enough" for the weight of ill-placed stones? Are they not compressed "enough" for the burden. What don't they have enough of, and why? Is it the burden that is "crunching," or the foundations?
The end frightens me a bit. If we adopt this spirit as ourselves and though we are incomplete, we have strong foundations, why then are we struggling so under the weight of ill-placed stones, and what about that situation makes us free?
More questions:
1) would touching and interruption make the spirit complete?
2) What would happen if punctuation was changed a bit near the end?
I hope you don't mind, Gary, but in reading your poem several times (as I do with all poems) I changed your punctuation a bit, just to see whether or not it would change your meaning... (It's something silly I came up with in college, to help me better understand some of what I was reading.)
Here's what I came up with. It's just a slight change, but it makes quite a difference. What do you think?
An uninhibited spirit
floating down uninhibited paths
untouched and uninterrupted
and altogether incomplete,
like an unfinished castle
waits
in the wind,
foundations compressed and strong,
(yet not enough for the burden)
crunching under the weight of ill-placed stones.
But even with the punctuation change, I, as the spirit, feel less liberated than I think I should. Perhaps that, understanding out limits, is what causes liberation.
Anyway, I better get back to work - I don't think the boss would appreciate me using work time to dissect poetry.
Best wishes and I do look forward to reading your reaction to my response. I hope I didn't step on any toes with my questions, etc...
I find the subject matter fascinating and I just want to be sure I understand the authors original intent, rather than mine...hehe
ta ta for now
SARAH
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Sarah, I am so happy that you asked questions! I usually have to pick stuff apart first to get an understanding. And if I understand some of your questions correctly, you are wondering how feeling burdened can be synonymous with liberation (correct me if I'm wrong). What I'm feeling is that the first 5 lines is the author's description of liberation. However, in line 6, the reference to "wind", for me, indicates change - a change, possibly from the experience of liberation into an experience of struggle/imprisonment. One could easily change from liberation to imprisonment or isolation with the enormous amounts of negative information that we have to sift through daily searching for peace or mind. If one is not an adventurer, the search can be rather burdensome (although there is more information than ever available for the path to peace or liberation!). Sarah, thanks for stimulating me. Now that I've had a chance to reinterpret my feelings about the poem, I can sum it up with brevity (one of our Inner Visions Institute words)and say that the essence of the poem, for me is, "Even though I desire liberation, this other shit keeps getting in my way!"
Jumoke
Hi Gary
I find your poems fascinating, so I decided to give my interpretation of this lovely poem "Liberation".
I see this uninhibited spirit as an unborn baby. Clean, chaste, virginal. Still growing. The unfinished castle to me is like beauty in the making. Waiting in the wind is the child waitig for direction (to be complete). Foundations compressed and strong- strong from not yet being manipulated or tainted, but not yet strong enough to handle life's troubles and life's uncertainty. (ill-placed stones.
your aunt Bernadette
Wow, this interpretation is truly deep - and something to really think about.
This interpretation is so very profound. I would love to know who you are. Please email me at savann2402@aol.com.
Jumoke
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